A Day’s Journey

Germany – May 2022

This question is not uniquely German, however it came up while I was traveling there. A friend saw an article in the local paper asking Germans this very question. Think on the question: To what do we owe our parents?

I was lucky to be traveling with my German friend, who in turn asked this question to all his friends we met. Hearing other peoples responses made me really formulate and refine my answer. This blog post will hopefully identify some common themes, my own perspective, and help you answer this question for yourself!

There would be no life without parents. Whether we’re lucky to know them or not- they made our life possible. To think of what we owe two humans who gave us a body for our soul to inhabit and live a passionate life — seems as though an insurmountable debt is owed! I think everyone’s initial answer is always that we owe our parents immensely for the life that has been given. The question asks “what do we owe,” but can we really put a tangible debt on life? Should we always be in debt to our parents?

Other people shared the sentiment that we do not “owe” our parents. Parents produce life- whether intentionally or not- and it is their “choice.” I have to use the word choice lightly- as I write this at a time when abortion rights for women in America are threatening to be stripped. But hypothetically speaking – to give life should be a choice in ~most~ situations. How parents decide to raise a child after has incredible variability- with no “right” answers (but certainly some very “wrong” ones). This raises the question— does it depend? Would people owe abusive or absent parents anything? Does it change for adopted or foster parents? Do people owe loving and giving parents more? Can we actually decide on a blanket, black-and-white response for all situations?

I don’t have a concrete answer either. Only further questions for discussion. I think maybe replacing “what” with “how,” would be a better question. I think life’s greatest purpose is to leave Earth better than we found it. For some people, this involves having children. And the hope for future generations is that we continue to progress by learning from previous generations. Parents teach us incredible lessons. They are the first leaders in our life. Whether they lead by positive or negative example is something we figure out as we grow older. It doesn’t matter what the examples are though, as we take what we learn and form our own morals, behaviors, and develop our own passions to apply to the world. All of this considered, my answer is that we owe our parents a better world. There’s infinite ways to make the world a better place, and it really doesn’t matter what impact you choose to make on Earth— whether big or small. I think all goals and impacts should be done with love and compassion as intrinsic motivators. Thus we owe our parents love. Gratitude for allowing us to learn from their best and worst examples. We were born out of love and we should continue to share that love. The world will only continue to be a better place if we all love a little more, forgive a little easier, and appreciate life’s ups and downs. And if you happen to give life to a new generation, you won’t be looking for what you’re “owed,” but rather continue to reciprocate love.

I would really love to know your opinion! Drop a comment.