A Day’s Journey

London – May 2022

“The more you know who you are and what you want, the less you let things bother you.”

I love this quote- originally heard it in the movie “Lost in Translation,” when Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson are sharing a quiet moment after an unexpected friendship and night out in Tokyo. I love this scene so much, that it is the background picture on my phone.

So what does this have to do with health in London? London was all about confidence. Upon reflection of my time in London, I peeled back the delicate, yet vast spectrum of what confidence truly is.

Confidence can be both extrinsic and intrinsic. When people say to “be confident,” I find that to be extrinsic. People either authentically exude confidence or put on a facade to elude others into believing their glowing confidence. You may also hear “have confidence,” which I find to be a bit deeper and rather intrinsic. Having- or possessing- is an integration of confidence into the psyche to be used in everyday situations. Nevertheless, both intrinsic and extrinsic confidence play vital roles in the wellbeing of the human spirit.

Let’s delve into these layers a little deeper. My first idea for a confidence topic in London came about in my first moments of arrival into London. I flew into London-Gatwick from Morocco very early in the morning, clad in my my usual trekking/exercise outfit (the backpack closet is very limited) topped off with heavy eyelids. My tired eyes were met with London women dressed in some of the best fashion complete with their hair and makeup flawlessly on point. In my tired brain fog, my mind immediately flipped the “inferior” switch on. I discovered this was extrinsic confidence, which is in fact a superficial delusion. Had any of these women that I felt inferior towards, bartered for a taxi at 4am in a Moroccan Medina today? Or arrived to a new country and immediately figured out the public transport system to get themselves safe and sound to their accommodation? No- that was uniquely me. In the imperial-monarchical-land of Queens and Princes, it’s hard to look past the facade of extrinsic confidence.

Intrinsic confidence is where we remember our power. Confidence is having true autonomy over your life. The most common regret of the elderly or ill is that they didn’t take a particular chance in life or that they did only what others expected of them. When we let others opinions rule our lives, it’s like we are handing over confidence currency – less for you, more for them. I wish more people believed that we are of most value to the world when we are true to ourselves. Drawing from famous Londoner David Bowie (rest in peace), he famously stated, “Being cool is being your own self, not doing something that someone else is telling you to do.”

In my own travel life, people constantly dig that I am on a trip to “discover myself.” Don’t worry everyone, I’m right here! I don’t need to find myself because I am not lost. Bowie believed that there is no such thing as self-discovery, but rather a persona that can be constantly reinvented. Going back to the original Lost in Translation quote- I know who I am and what I want. I am a quiet observer on a world journey, and I want to make new discoveries through connecting with novel landscapes, people, and cultures. Perhaps I have “discovered” that my reserved nature does not lack confidence. Being reserved means saving my energy for important things and conversations. I chose my own path, which I continue to follow with passion and enthusiasm no matter how lost I may feel sometimes. Traveling alone can be awkward, lonely, and at times scary. Knowing that I’m where I’m meant to be eliminates many of these anxieties. Good reminder to stop comparing yourself and live more authentically.

Most importantly, how can everyone attract that London confidence into their lives? We’ve discussed “being confident,” and “having confidence.” To take it one level deeper – “attract confidence.” And I don’t mean people-pleasing or making strangers fall in love with you! True Confidence is magnetic. Attracting through Abundance. Get clear with your intentions and goals- who you are and what you want, and fill your life with those things. Magnetism will attract the proper people and experiences into your life. People will only see the real you when you allow yourself to bask in abundance. True confidence attracts.

Remember what our exemplar confidence expert David Bowie meant when he said, “The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.”